An elephant doing ballet…

avoid failIf you want to have success in your life, you must avoid failure at all cost. Wow, that is a pretty impressive statement, and I think it says it all, so I guess this blog entry is complete. That comment is a positively perfect proclamation so you can stop reading and go back to your daily grind. I will send this to the proofreading and punctuation people so that we can wrap this one up. I must say that it was insightful and impactful promulgation.

I am the one who does the preliminary checking and correcting my work. I now realize that I need more than a declaration like that to fill my obligation to my readers. I should give you the reader more information to understand if that statement has importance and relates to my circumstance. Although that is a profound theory that can be used in absolutely any situation, I need more substantial facts. So hold on a few minutes while I get my thoughts together to make these words more valuable than a blank canvas to a painter.

analyze 2Every time that I fall, and after my recovery, I tend to analyze, criticize, and evaluate and investigate. I try to contemplate what caused the fall and postulate how to avoid a repeat catastrophe. Is it possible that my foot or even my wheelchair could have been slightly out of position by a mere half-inch? Let me give you a few examples of things not quite right causing a cataclysmic consequence.

After I got out of the pool the other day, my upper body felt weak like it does most days after swimming. I went into the family changing room that is most conducive to this body of mine that has been peppered with this pestilent prostration called MS. I carefully unpacked all of my shower necessities and put them on the shower bench and towel hook.

showerAlthough I was exhausted, as usual, the transfer onto the shower bench was simply silky smooth. I turned on the water to allow it to get to temperature, and then I pre-rinsed. When I grabbed the liquid soap bottle to put some soap on my scrubby, the container was slicker than a Vaseline slicked eel and fell to the floor. As I slowly bent down to pick it up while holding onto the shower grab bar, I slumped over too far. At this slouched angle, I had to rely on my weakened arms to pull me upright, causing a real aggressive battle.

I wanted a fight free from falls but instead ended up on the shower floor brimming with enmity. This anger built up to a burning rage as my ignorance caused my next challenge as I left my phone six feet away. My next task would be to drag myself across the floor to acquire my phone and call the front desk for help. A few minutes later, a staff member came and picked me up and placed me back in my wheelchair. It is in my best interest to always think logically and move with lethargy to avoid these situations.

Getting into and out of most cars is a geographical conundrum compelling deep contemplation. Taller vehicles like SUV’s or Minivans are more challenging than having an elephant send a birthday text to your friend. So my goal becomes strategic positioning to make sure that my every step in the process is correctly positioned.

The other day I was getting out of a friends SUV and things did not go as well as I would have liked. Every car has its idiosyncrasies that force a need to slow down and excogitate to avoid any tragic tumbles. That day I was tired hot and bound to make a significantly senseless snafu.

We put my wheelchair just outside the car door parallel to the car so that I only needed to slide onto my chariot. I was weak and needed some minor assistance with a trick that we have figured out through trial and error. Locking one arm from each of us at the elbow, my friend pulls me onto the waiting seat below. However, on this day, the stars would not align this time the odds were not in my favor.

ppThings started well as I was politely pulled off of the passenger seat and onto the chair below. Sadly my foot usually hits the floor as a pivot point, but the lack of fulcrum was the first folly of the day. The next issue was that there was no seat under my rump as I expected because I forgot to pull the chair forward completely. My improperly positioned wheelchair was only a few inches off-kilter, causing me to land on the edge of the cushion and slide off and onto the floor.

ebIt took several minutes of the struggle of my friend to get my derriere onto the landing zone. This challenge was an educational moment that I will try to never forget and avoid this catastrophic calamity in the future. To avoid exacerbating my falls, it is imperative that I think and move slowly. When I do not transfer carefully and cautiously, I am as graceful as an elephant doing ballet.

If you fall nine times, then get up ten.

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